awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
