Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
