'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
