no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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