I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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