worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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