Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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