Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
