so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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