Non-Jews are for practice
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
