I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
