we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
