You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh god it's open bar.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
