Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
