Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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