Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
