I can tuck mytits in my pants
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
