I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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