I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
