gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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