in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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