He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
