And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
