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Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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