stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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