I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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