Banned from zoo.
Again?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
