dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
