i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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