my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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