I want to stick my p in your. b.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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