I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
