we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
