his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
