She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
