I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
