woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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