just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
