I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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