Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
