its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
