Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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