We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
