we're making bets on your personal life
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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