32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
