i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
