Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Randomize
