we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
