PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
