so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Randomize
